Very tired today, just really physically and mentally drained. The last few years have been very different than I expected, and I think about my death almost constantly now, a number of times a day. I think about what I want to leave Violet; an understanding of the world and all of it's pitfalls and joys, and leave her with a deep understanding of how it all works. The 21st Century will be all there for her - U.S. Presdidents 44 through 60, the rise and fall of nations, the advance of technology, Man's arrival on the Moon in a permanent capacity, the collapse of economies, new wars and conflicts, the unexpected and the common in all forms -all hers - and if she lives as long as my grandmother Koblish, she will see the dawn of the next century, a century of which i can only dream and will never share. She is so sweet and so full of joy and wonder, and all I can do recently is think of is a time when I will not be there for her.